"Seek out the Lord and he will provide"

Turns out that my life has been going quite well, although things this year did not start this year, I think I am doing my best to turn my life around. I dont think that perhaps this is going to be the most i see for myself as of yet. For there is yet much of myself to regain from the years I have lost myself. For the times I had failed to take control of my life and let it run amok. Like an unchained beast with a mind of its own, that was my life, spiralling on the brink of disaster doomed on the highway to hell.

All I can say is that sometimes , it takes a really hard knock in the head for someone to snap out of the trance he's in and get to his senses. Since when was I so ignorant to advice that I should feel that I was always misunderstood? Perhaps a part of me still feels some regret to what I am leaving behind. But the better part of me understands that perhaps this is just for the best.

" If you can't even grow petunias, why think of even of roses?" My own few words of wisdom, so far I dont think anyone has copyrighted this, although perhaps that someone might have said it before. Anyway, time to stop being wishy-washy about my life and get my feet on the ground. Time to set up those strong supports in my own life, my own markers. Self-therapy, the best medicine if you are feeling down. Washing myself in the waters of life once more, and reading his holy word, I have been strengthened from prayer and seeking to do his will once more. For does the Lord not choose to bless his followers multiplefold, and can he not see their struggles? For he that does not overlook the sparrow shall not pass me by in my time of need, and thus I shall emerge stronger from my trials.

Throwing aside this mantle I have been wearing of falsehood and deceit, of malingering and of laziness, of sin and respite. I will take the old me and take him to the cross for which I shall nail my sins onto the one who is capable of cleansing them all. And though it pains my heart to watch my savior suffer once more renewed through the wounds that were inflicted upon him many years ago, I regret not, but am grateful that he provides a link back to him through the cross, through Jesus's sovereign promise that has withstood the ages, to be able to have the grace that comes from God through the cleansing blood of the lamb. I am bathed in his blood, and remember my covenant renewed with the Lord. Though I may not be so sure how long this spiritual fire might last, I hope that it will be lasting and impact my life with a change that will help me look back and be reminded of my commitment to my lord and savior.

Confessions of a lost soul.